Fast forward to the next week, I would text him but texts were pretty sparce. I remember on Saturday, I had talked to him briefly in the morning. I texted him that night to say that I was that I was going to a club for my friend’s birthday. I got nooooo response Saturday night and all of Sunday despite me sending him messages.
I was pissed so when he sent a text on Monday, I just ignored it. Early Wednesday morning, I get this text:
I think I’ll come to Incheon on Saturday. I think I should tell you this….
When I got this text, I panicked. Was it his sister?? Did something happen to her?? I had no idea what this was about. I asked him what and he said that he wouldn’t tell me until Saturday…
Umm, that’s a rather long time to wait isn’t it?? I asked to answer me three things.
1) Is there more than one bad thing that is going on?
2) Is it serious?
3) What is it about? You don’t have to go into full detail, but I just wanna know.
He said that it was a serious situation. -Sigh- That night on fb, I uploaded our pics from our 100th day and tagged him. In less than no time, he had untagged himself and deactivated his fb…
I couldn’t take it and called him up and asked if he wanted to break up with me. :Silence:
“Yeah, I didn’t know how to tell you..It’s so hard, but I think we should take a break. I feel like I lost my way…”
What I wanted to know is why he felt he lost his way. He didn’t answer my question and said that he thinks we should go ahead and break up..
We met up near my apartment on Saturday and went to a near by coffee shop. I had so many questions for him:
1) Why do you think you lost your way??
:Dead silence: ( He looked pained and he looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t). I dunno how it happened, but I just want to be alone. This is an issue with me. I don’t think I could take care of you in a good way for long. I just want to focus on myself, if you can understand that..
2) Does this have to do with your studies?
Well…kinda. I think I may have failed the exam again (an important exam he needs for getting a job to be an accountant.) If I keep failing, I have to go abroad..
3) Just tell me the truth, what is it? You can say it. Because honestly, it sounds like you’re not telling the real truth..
It’s me not you…I honestly just want time for myself. And you have such an awesome life and I don’t wanna bring it down because of me. I couldn’t take care of you well and couldn’t make you happy.
4) You know, that sounds like an excuse right? That’s a popular cheesy excuse they give in the movies…And I was happy. You made me really happy. I don’t know why you don’t see that and why you doubt yourself. It’s like you don’t have the confidence to date me when you did before. I don’t get all this self-loathing..
I finally ended up telling him:
A) Get his crap together
B) I worry about him. I know I’ll be completely fine after a while, but I insisted that he wouldn’t
C) That I didn’t hate him. I’m just really upset with him. Nevertheless, I thank him for coming down to Incheon to talk to me.
D) I told him “politely” that until he gets his stuff together, that he shouldn’t date any girls, because he’d just get himself into this mess all over again.
Then I walked away, leaving him in the café by himself…I went back to my home and cried.